A year ago or so, I used to say “awesomesauce” and “failsauce” alot. Let me bring back failsauce for a quick little rant about people talking about other people behind their backs… to their husband.
If you’re gonna bitch about someone, make sure that you’re bitching to someone else who isnt that person’s friend. You do this so that the other person wont hear about you bitching. It should go without saying that you absolutely do not bitch to that person’s husband.
M started at my old office a few days ago. One of the first things that my old boss tells him is that “A is quickly offended, so we pick our battles with her.”
What the FUCK!?
Ok, lets clear something up. I am not “quickly offended”. In fact, I am probably one of the least offended people around. Shit that is obviously unintentional rolls off my back pretty quickly. I am, however, quickly pissed off, and the two are not mutually exclusive.
The only incidents that I can really think of where I lost my facade of, “Oh, I’m so sweet and happy and kind” (no, seriously, I do that at work… this is my outlet) was when Cat was our boss and one of the govies kept trying to talk to me while I was working pretty hard on something that had to go out quickly. She kept asking me if I thought it would get done in time and I snapped and said, “Its never going to get done if you keep talking to me.” Meh. It was over pretty quickly, and the govie didnt even notice that I’d been rude.
The second incident was when this douche in another office kept ordering me stuff that I didnt want or need. Thanks. I wrote a firm email about how this was disrupting our flow and causing the project we were working on to get delayed since we had to sift through all that crap that we didnt want. I informed my boss of the email, I told her that I wanted to be the one to send it out, and that I’d handle it. Whatever.
I dont get offended… I just have a low threshold for stupidity and annoyance. And in that regard, lets talk about my old boss.
When she first started, not only would she not shut up, I gave her the nickname “Trailer Park Barbie”. Seriously. She was friends with another dude who worked with us who had the fantastic reputation of doing absolutely nothing. Not only was he proficient at sitting around and starting at the wall, but he also would commit timecard fraud the likes of which I cannot even fathom. The guilt would just eat me alive. He would, maybe, come in at 9am, sit around till 2, and call that an 8 hour day. One time, he came in on a holiday when all the govies were out and I was making up time, and he stayed for all of 25 minutes. No, I’m not kidding.
Early on in Cat’s reign, this dude and my old boss got caught committing time card fraud. Barbie had been there for all of maybe 3 months. 3 goddamn months. And she was already being punnished for fraud. Seriously.
So imagine my surprise when Cat picked her to take over as our team lead! Granted, she had no one else to pick. She couldnt pick T or I to do it since we were waiting for our govie jobs, J wouldnt do it, and Z was also new. So she picked a 23 year old who’s only claim to fame is that she was in the air force. Apparently, playing with a plane (because, seriously, by her own admission, she did nothing while enlisted) for 3 years makes you qualified to lead a team of 10 in a government office. I cant make this shit up.
She often doesnt know where people are. Corporate thinks so highly of her that they sent her 3 rejects from previous contracts to fill the open spots and frequently give her old or incorrect information, if they even bother to call her at all. She would ask T and I for advice, often. She cant make a decision without getting our govie and Cat’s input. She doesnt know where major countries are. She loses equipment at a fantastic rate. No one respects her. She took 7 weeks to figure out the new timecard system. She is constantly bitching about her job and how no one listens to her. She is meek, bitchy, annoying, and frequently talks about her trailer park family and their various inappropriate exploits.
I’m pissed. And I wont forget how she really thinks about me.