life

The IRS Gave Me A Papercut.

So.  Taxes are due, soon.

Have I mentioned lately how much I hate taxes?  Guess not.  Specifically, the being bent over and ass raped part, is what I object to.  We all know I have a love/hate relationship with the IRS.

Let me elaborate.

We bought a house.  We are eligible for an $8k rebate because we did our part to shore up the incredibly crappy housing market.  We made sure that M’s W-4 says 0 even though it can say 2.  We did everything right, this time.

Apparently, not.

Dont get me wrong, we can still get some money back… but not the whole $8k.  No, siree.  We still dont have enough money taken from our paychecks.  So I changed my W-4 from 1 to 0.  Even though it can say 2.  When this kid pops out, it can say 3!  But no.  We’ll leave them at 0 and hopefully, next year, we’ll be in the black.

Why, oh why, oh why, oh whyyyyyy do the IRS gods hate me?  If I fill everything out correctly, why does nothing get taken out like it should?

To add insult to injury, I cant e-file this year.  Nope.  I bought a house!  So they want a copy of my settlement statement.  While I was trying to whiddle my settlement papers back together, I got a papercut.  And thus, the title of this post.  The IRS gave me a papercut.  Can I smear some blood on the paperwork?  Would that invalidate it all?

You’d think I’d wanna get this out STAT since I’m getting change back, right?  Wrong.  I owe my dad a good chunk of that refund since I borrowed it from him to get the house set up to live in.  (Cleaned, painted, new shit installed, that kinda thing)  I think, in the end, M and I walk away with $600.  Which is nothing to sneeze at!  But it aint no 8 thousand snackeroos.  We’ll probably throw it into the “baby fund” and use it to furnish the nursery.

I hate you, IRS.  I know the money goes to a good cause.  I do.  But I still hate you.  Mostly because you never ever ever take out the right amount from my paycheck.  Ever.

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