… I feel like I would gleefully grind my face into the pavement if it meant that today could go any faster.
I feel like I have senioritis! Like the week before summer vacation. Like like like… *sigh*.
I wake up at 5am. It used to be worse… I used to wake up at 4:40am. I wake up at 5, struggle to put my ever larger ass in some jeans, throw on a “decent shirt”, shove my pig feet into some flippy floppies, paint my face in eyeliner, and point myself towards the door.
I eventually arrive at work feeling more and more sad for myself as my husband and I start the pathetic little shuffle towards the doors. At least we get good parking.
After arguing with the elevators and having to suffer the idiocy of old govies struggling to work a button, I finally arrive at my desk. I turn on my lights, wake up my computers, and stare at the monitor for at least 10 minutes while I adjust my eyes to the glow of the liquid crystal display and cathode ray tube. Remember, at 5am there aint much sun in the world. So I need a few blinks to be able to see the keyboard.
After trudging through emails that never pertain to me, M sends me an instant message that we should gather for the few minutes we get and go grab grub.
Ahh, the cafeteria. Quite possibly one of the last places on Earth to find powdered eggs outside of a hospital or educational food service kitchen. M loves them. I hate the way they smell. My choices for breakfast are as follows: donut, bagel, powdered eggs, exploded sausage, anything from the short order cook lady (pancakes, omelette, french toast on a good day), slightly old fruit, over priced dry cereal, and “do it yourself” oatmeal. After 3 years of these options, I’m ready to kill myself.
I trudge back downstairs with my little plate of whatever and eat it very slowly. The slower I eat, the longer I can read the news and pretend to be busy. No one bothers someone who’s eating.
After eating and reading the news, I either do some work or pretend to do some work. In the past, I would do my work as quickly as possible so that I could spend the rest of the day reading some smutty novel that I had purchased at the Safeway across the street. Ahh the joys of being a contractor. Nowadays, I have to spread it out. And its not like I’ve been doing nothing since I got this job… this is entirely just this week. And only because I know that I dont have to come back here for a month.
At least 15 times each between now and 10:30, when M and I can meet again for a jaunt across the street to forage for lunch, I curse the heavens, check my email, dream up ways to destroy the Coughmeister 3000 (Right now he’s trying to breathe through his nose… unsuccessfully. Its like he wants me to come over there and smash his face into the keyboard until he’s unconscious.), check my blog stats, blog about the world, check my blog reader, IM my husband, and go to the bathroom. All just to pass the time.
Once 10:30 rolls around, I know that the worst is behind me. That its all downhill from there. Our lunch expeditions usually take an hour, and during that time I get something that is nookable and plentiful. Ya know, so that I can take a long time eating. Like above, no one bothers someone who is eating.
From 11:30 onwards to 3, I do some more token work, walk around, read news, clean my cube, pee, and generally try to stay busy until I can finally run away.
And running away is the highlight of my little day.
On Thursday I will be ecstatic. I wont have to come back here until the end of May! I will be able to sleep in and do work at night! I will be able to meet some of my old coworkers from when I worked at USACE. I’ll be hanging out with my friend, T. Oh the joy! (Note, I will probably want to die instead of endure another power point presentation by the end of this “training”.)
Oh I absolutely cannot wait for next week. Until then, I have to deal with today.
The writing of this blog post has killed approx. 30 minutes. Its 9am. Only an hour and a half left till I can go for a walk outside, breathe fresh air, and kill another hour.