The Pregnant Card.

There is such thing as “the pregnant card”.

Much like “the race card”, “the pregnant card” is a low, low card to pull out of your deck and throw down.  I’ve never played “the race card”, but unfortunately, the other day I had to play “the pregnant card”.

Let me set the scene.

I’ve been in training for the past two weeks (surprise, surprise).  When the lectures started, last week, I picked a seat in the back, by the door, so that if I had to pee in the middle of the class, I could sneak out and back in without disturbing anyone.  I’m sure people with bladder issues do the same thing.  Its just something you think about.  I’ve been sitting in that seat for the past week.  I usually get to the class extra early so that I can score this seat and not have to worry about sitting elsewhere.

Yesterday I came into the class and there was a notebook on my seat.  Uh.  Ok.  I picked it up and moved it to the seat next to me.  I honestly thought it was a friend of mine’s who sits with us.  Maybe he was reserving our seats for us.  No big deal.  I was still extra early.  As people started filing in, my friend asked about the notebook and since we didnt know who’s it was, we moved it to a table and went about our conversations.

About 2 minutes before the class was supposed to start, and after most of the seats were taken, the owner of the notebook entered the class.  He makes a bee line for me and immediately looks me over.  He towers over me and says, “You’re in my seat.”  I look up and try to say, in my most polite voice, “I’m sorry, but I’ve been sitting in this seat because I often need to pee, and need to be able to leave.

I didnt say I was pregnant, because that’s a low card to pull.  I tried to make it sound like I had a medical condition,, which I technically have, but apparently he didnt give a flying fuck.

And that’s my problem?” he growls at me.

At this point, I’m fucking livid.  Yes, I can go from sweetly polite to evil in 1.2 seconds.  I’m Puerto Rican.  Its one of our special racial traits.  Much like celerity and evade (+500 XP to whoever gets that).

I’m pregnant.  I need to pee alot.  I need to be by the door so that I can take care of that.” I growled back.
“Oh.  That’s a good excuse.” he muttered, and went in search of a new seat.

What the fuck!?

Even if you did have a fucking problem with someone being a dick and taking your seat, you dont then challenge them for it!  You grab your shit, give them the stink eye, and shuffle away… all the while thinking, “I’ll fucking get you, asshole.”  You dont get all massive aggressive and tell them to GTFO.  Who the fuck do you think you are?

And I’m a woman!  Not to be sexist, but do you really think it looks good to yell at a woman?  Over a chair!?  Are you kidding me?

The biggest thing is that this dude is in our industry.  If I continue in this line of work, we will end up speaking again.  You never piss people off, overtly, if you plan on going far in a generally small employee pool.  If I pissed you off, fine.  Go sulk in a corner and plan your revenge.  You dont piss them off in return and look like an asshole to them, their immediate area, and all of their friends who are in the exact same class and saw the entire exchange.

I felt really bad about playing “the pregnant card”.  I really did.  But in my defense, I’m pregnant! Not only am I incredibly bitchy, but I’m Puerto Rican and a woman.  A very powerful trifecta.  Plus, everyone else who saw the incident said that I held up grace under fire and handled it very well.  Plus, again, I’m pregnant.  They were surprised I didnt tear off his balls and eat them with cinnamon sugar.

So yeah.  That was yesterday.  Whoo.


3 responses to ‘The Pregnant Card.

  1. Your post suggests that you may just be, if I’m reading between the lines here…pregnant! 😉
    Can’t believe you’ve just played three cards here though, race, gender and pregnant – very good! Seriously though, this guy was just being a prick and he wasn’t man enough to admit it. So let me get this right….he puts a notepad down on a chair, in what I am assuming at the time was an empty room full of lots of chairs, and this it represent the fact that it is HIS seat? Ar you sure he didn’t have a German accent – those fuckers are notorious for getting up at 2.30am on holiday to put their towels down on the beah recliners closest to the poolside at their resorts… CLAIM them as theirs allowing them to get up in the middle of the day and guarantee prime position. These types of people can fuck right off (excuse my language, I may be pregnant) and deserve to be treated like the pieces of shit they really are.
    he’s lucky you didn’t make a big scene out of it – would have been great if you faked some real emotion and burst out crying letting everyone in the room know he’s effectively just bullied a pregnant woman – a Puerto Rican pregnant woman no less.
    Well done you I say – next time get in even earlier and leave a breast pump on the seat.


  2. In-case you hadn’t guessed – that last comment was from me.

    But I’m sure you did. 🙂


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