Life - General

Don’t Have Sex on an Air Mattress.

Christmas was… weird.

Many things I could write about, but the thing that has stayed with me since Sunday has been what my whore of a sister in law brought up.  But before I can move on to that, a little backstory.

A long, long, time ago, in a country far, far, away… I was a bit of a brat.  Can you imagine?  My niece was acting up in the car, my brother and his wife did something to shut her up, and I said,”She doesn’t pull that shit with me.”  I know exactly that’s what I said because I remember it.  The shitstorm that took place after it led me to not talk to my brother, bring up some bad shit, and utterly dislike him entirely for a really long time.  It wasn’t until a few years ago that we actually had a conversation about it.  All of it.  We still dont get along very well, but at least it’s not hostile.  Plus, he apologized.

Out of that conversation, I promised that I would never denigrate his whore of a wife in front of their kids.  I have kept my word.

That was super easy to do when she didnt come around my parent’s house.

I dont know who invited her for Christmas, but I was gonna keep my word to my brother.

So there I am, in the kitchen on Sunday, and I’d just gotten the Monkey to take a nap.  Ma asked how it went and I said, “I went in there and told her that if she didnt fall asleep for Papa (my dad), that she was gonna have to deal with me, and she didnt wanna deal with me.”  Because, really, that’s how I am with the Monkey.  She doesnt get away with shit.  If I say not to do something, and I have to ask again, she’s going to be in time out.  And, right, time out for a 1 year old really is just, “sit in my lap until you’re done crying”.  She can’t get things if she’s having a tantrum.  She has to stop crying before she gets what she wants.  That’s how I roll.

My whore of a sister in law then says, “Remember that time in Germany with (enter niece’s name here) and you said, ‘I would never raise my kid that way?'”
I replied with, “That’s not what I said.  I said, ‘She doesnt pull that shit with me'”.
(Skip 12 rounds of her telling me what she thinks I said. because the drunk bitch thinks she knows better than me.)
Whore of a sister in law says, “Well, I always wondered what kind of parent you’d be…”
My reply, “And now you can see, I havent changed.”

What the fuck, lady?

You want to start a big fucking fight in my parent’s kitchen on Christmas day?  With a pregnant lady?  Who’s hungry?  I will lay your ass out.

But I didnt.

I, or someone, I dunno, changed the subject.  And we moved on.

Uuuuugh!!!  I hate that whore.

And maybe one day I’ll explain why she’s a whore, and why my brother agrees… but that’s a blog post for another day.

Happy Boxing Day!


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