I’ve moved out w/ the girls, and I’m living approx. 15 miles away.
We are selling the house, and have both retained lawyers.
It’s been a month since the girls and I moved into our new house, and while things are going slow in terms of unpacking (my commute is even longer now) we’ve entered a new normal. M takes the girls on every other weekend from Friday night thru Monday morning. And I’m free to pursue… other… interests.
Kissing and telling is annoying; plus should this not go anywhere, I’m not going to go on and on about this mysterious someone. But I am happier. And I am smiling easier. And I can see a light at the end of this tunnel.
My parents and some friends think it’s too soon. But really, I’ve been mourning this relationship for almost a year, now. We had been on the rocks and in constant arguments for a long time. Life sucks when you don’t look forward to going home or being alone with the person you said you’d forsake over any other. I realize that, to them, it was only “official” in February, but really, I’m ready to get on with my life.
The other day I was sitting at home, alone, and looking through netflix trying to find something awesome to watch. And I realized something fucking groundbreaking: I can watch or do anything that I want to. In that moment I became drunk with freedom. I watched XxX and it was awesome. I can watch action movies w/ horrible plots, and not be ashamed of what M will say. I can watch the worst shit on TV (Keeping Up w/the Kardashians) and no one is going to judge me for it. I had never realized just how molded I was into the person that M wanted to me be. And not the person that I really am.
Deep shit, yo.
So, yeah. I’m happier, freer, and really living life again. The girls can drive me crazy, at times, but they’re sweet, and kind, and going through some really hard shit. So I don’t fault them for having tantrums or being obstinate. I get it. I move on and ignore the bad behavior and reward the good. That’s really all I can do at this age. And I’m hanging out with old friends, making new ones, trying new experiences, and getting closer to family.
And this is good.