Life - General

Boob Rant of the Highest Degree

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So I’m doing my annual boob holster shopping and I notice something…

Why. Why why why why whyyyyyyyyyyyyy would you sell a push up bra in sizes above DD? I made this accident, once. I hadn’t noticed that it was a push up, and it was in my size, and it was red, and omg folks… you could see my tatas from SPACE. They were SO huge and pushed up that when I blinked, my eyelashes tickled my nips.

What goes into designer’s minds when they slap some push up chicken cutlets into a bra that could conceivably hold a tureen of soup in EACH CUP?

As it is, once you get into the D+ range, your body hates you.  Your back hurts, your posture sucks, you have to buy new bras almost every 6 months, men turn into babies around them, sleeping on your chest is iffy, and GOD FORBID you actually use these things for their intended purpose.  I turned into a bountiful fountain of colostrum which literally spurted into the Monkey’s eye the first time I tried to breastfeed.  My ma and I had a good laugh about that.

But seriously.  SERIOUSLY.  That fact that people have obviously bought these products is mind boggling.  Outside of the adult entertainment industry, what purpose do these serve?

This is an actual question.  Please.  If you’ve gotten one of these before, on purpose, what’s your mindset?  Inquiring minds wish to know!

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