In three months, I’m going to have surgery.
This isn’t my first major surgery. Or my second. It’s my third, and it comes with the certainty that my entire life is going to be changed. I’ve wanted to write about this for a while, but always felt too tired, or not witty enough.
So, in order to cure my bile reflux, I have to get a duodenal switch. Yes, it’s mostly used in bariatric surgeries but after seeing a shitton of doctors from Charlottesville to Baltimore, I finally came around to realizing that this is the only way to end the random days lost to burping bile and living in the bathroom.
The last time I had an episode, actually, was the day I went in for the surgery consult. That day I ended up in the hospital with a bowel obstruction called an ileus and almost got myself admitted. Spent a week at home with some extremely strong medications, alternately puking bile and sleeping. Good times. Even puked in the doctor’s office. In fact, whenever I call the office, now, I start with, “Hi. This is A, the chick who puked in the office.”
That day I woke up with the bile burps and stomach pain. The day before I’d eaten Thai food with my parents, so it wasn’t food poisoning and it wasn’t prohibitively unhealthy, either. It was 100% my faulty gastrointestinal tract.
So, this kind of surgery slices my stomach in half, reroutes bile to the end of the line, reconnects with my intestines, and out she goes. I won’t be able to eat anything of substance. I won’t be able to drink carbonated drinks. I won’t be able to live life like I currently do. But then again, I thought the same kinds of things when I lost my gallbladder, and obviously I learned how to live life around it. I’ll probably do the same with this surgery.
In preparation I have to get a million tests and an EGD and x-rays and ultrasounds, and two weeks before the surgery I get to stop eating anything solid. Sounds fun.
So there you have it. The latest new thing in my life. I might have a few posts involving the tastings of various protein shakes, since that’s what I’m going to be living off of for 6 weeks. I’ve tried a few, so far, and so far like Boost the best. Muscle Milk is too sugary (even tho it only has”crystaline fructose” listed) and Ensure makes me feel like an old lady. But whatever.
Anywho. Yeah. Yay. At least the bile reflux will be gone. And that knowledge makes me crazy happy.